© 2014 StillPoint Counseling: Psychotherapy & Couples Therapy
Fears and Facts:
Most couples wait too long to reach out for help. You don’t need to wait until a crisis arises to come to couples therapy and receive support. Your primary relationship is one of your most precious assets; it is always deserving of attention. Some couples fear it is too late to be helped. Having the assistance of a calm, objective third-party can be indispensable when things feel like they have fallen apart or it feels like there is no hope.
It’s common for one or both partners to be skeptical when entering couples therapy. They might doubt it can help. Couples therapy has a proven track record. Not all couples stay together, but they do leave with more clarity and understanding of the situation and their partner, better communication skills, and less conflict.
Couples may fear they will be judged or the therapist will take sides. It is the therapist’s job to remain neutral, to support the relationship, and to hold space for and make both partners feel safe in the room. A good couples therapist remains compassionate in the face of difficulty and helps the couple to see their problems as normal and workable.
Some couples worry that they will be in couples therapy forever. Couples therapy is designed to practical and straightforward. Depending on the goals of the couple, a typical treatment lasts 5 to 12 sessions. Many couples feel relief and receive benefit after the first session or two.
The first session:
Couples are often most nervous about the first session. They are coming to speak with a stranger and share about their most intimate relationship when they are feeling vulnerable. The first session does not have to hurt. The goal of the first session is to get comfortable--with the therapist, with the situation, and with communicating with each other.
First sessions are paced slowly and neither partner is asked to share more than they are comfortable with. We begin by understanding the history of the relationship--what brought you together and what your strengths are. We then have an honest dialogue about what is challenging you and develop a plan of how to work with it. Couples leave the first session with a sense of what is possible and a path to get there. Couples therapy works!
Couples therapy, marriage counseling, & pscyhotherapy
in San Francisco, Berkeley, & Oakland, California